Friday, May 23, 2008

Many Small Decisions

I have come to realize that the decision to get married is not ONE BIG decision, it is many small decisions made over time.

I decided to go out with him when he asked me on a date two years ago.
I decided I wanted to know more about him when we were dating casually.
I decided I wanted to let him hold my hand, and later, to kiss me.
I decided to tell him I loved him.
I decided he was a righteous and worthy young man,
even when I thought there would never be a future for us together.

I decided to let him broach the subject of dating each other again.
I decided to let him take me on a date again.
I decided to let my love for him grow again.
I decided to let him kiss me again (and to kiss him in return).
I decided to work towards marriage instead of giving into my fears.
I decided to have faith - sometimes every few minutes.
I decided to say yes and to accept the ring.
I am still deciding every day that this is what I want.

To marry someone who can support me emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, and to want to support him as much as I can in return. Perhaps I was never ready before now for the feelings I've been having: a sweet gentle assurance that this is good.

1 comment:

  1. You are a smart girl. I am still deciding things, some about me and others about my children and spouse. Nothing in life is about one decision. Congrats. I would love to come to a reception, is that too hasty. much love Jenn