Saturday, June 19, 2010

Finding purpose

Now that I have graduated from college I am going through a transition. Normally a college graduate’s transition involves looking for a job. But that isn’t what I’m doing. I’m working on redefining myself as a Stay-At-Home-Wife (SAHW) in her third trimester. (This isn’t to say that I don’t think I should be looking for a job, I just don’t have a good sense of what my employment priorities and parameters are yet.)

One of the things I’ve been struggling with is how to be a productive person and a contributing member of the family while I stay home all day. My husband spends more than forty hours a week working to bring home money to pay our bills and to feed me (the hungry, but picky pregnant lady). And he cooks. What am I doing? How do I make valuable contributions with my time too?

Lost Boy often points out that I’m growing him a friend. So one of my main focuses is taking care of myself so that our baby will be as healthy as possible. This is sometimes a major challenge. Eating enough food is often more than I can handle, though I am confident that the food I eat is nutritionally smart. (Lost Boy helps out a lot; he makes me smoothies regularly.) But, let’s not talk about my pre-natal vitamins. I am quite sure I get plenty of sleep, but I know I need to increase my level of activity. Lost Boy and I go for walks, but not every day. This past week I assembled a swim suit and got a community pool schedule so that I can go to the pool (cool water + buoyancy = happy pregnant lady) to stay cool and practice swimming. I still want to incorporate yoga into my activity schedule, but community yoga is expensive and I haven’t found my yoga-at-home niche yet. I’m making progress, but still have a lot to work on.

 Aside from taking care of myself-and-baby, some of my SAHW efforts go toward taking care of Lost Boy. I like to make sure he has clean clothes (especially clean work clothes). I haven’t started ironing his clothes yet, but I sometimes think I should. For example, when I don’t fold the clothes right away and his shirts get all wrinkly... When he is at home (and I’m awake) I try to spend as much time with him as possible (Quality Time is his love language). Now that school is out we are reading books together again. When he is at work he likes it when I call him to read to him or to chat (I need to work on that one). And I try to kiss him often, even when I’m feeling nauseous.

Another way that I am seeking to find purpose is through house work. This goal easily breaks down into chores, but what I really mean is home care. Care of the home. For Lost Boy, a house is just a place to sleep unless I’m there. But for me a place needs to be taken care of (by me) in order for me to feel at home. I haven’t done chores regularly for three semesters now. While my grades were better when I didn’t do chores, I really missed the orderliness that comes from regular housekeeping. I’ve discovered that when you aren’t in the routine of keeping house, the prospect of getting into the routine can be rather intimidating. But it seems like now is a good time to get back into the routine of doing chores. Fortunately, I have a secret weapon...

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