Not yet. But soon.

We went camping three weeks ago (July 12-14). Camping is fun and refreshing, but it is also a lot of hard work. I was prepared to be wiped out afterwards, but I didn't expect to get sick the day we came home. I spent two days in bed (mostly), then slowly started to feel better and get stronger.

Except, at some point the recovery seemed to stop.

I could tell I wasn't sick anymore, but I was tired all the time. Maybe my thyroid supplement was off? I didn't think so.

Then I started to feel nausea after I ate. Maybe it was the heat.

One evening, after the nausea was particularly strong, I decided to take a pregnancy test in the morning. Just to rule out pregnancy and keep myself from getting my hopes up.

We've all been getting closer and closer to being ready for the next baby. Lost Boy said something last month about how some concerns he had about our health coverage were lessening. A few weeks later he said something about how he felt that 2Flowers was ready for a sibling. And for months and months, I've been listening to my body, and feeling it say, "Close. Not yet, but soon."

But I know that babies don't necessarily come when you want them. Or when you are ready for them. They come in God's own time. And sometimes I have a hard time being patient. Waiting for 2Flowers was really hard. So I kept telling myself "soon, but not yet."

And I was starting to think about it a lot what with all the tiredness and teasing nausea. So I needed something concrete to backup my conviction that it would be soon, but not yet.

My plan backfired. I sent Lost Boy to the Dollar Store for more pregnancy tests. After all, there is such a thing as a false positive! But I didn't think my hormones were off enough to trigger a false positive.

Another positive pregnancy test. I looked at them every day for a while. I stopped feeling frustrated about the tiredness and just let myself rest. I went to see my doctor yesterday (and spent $40.00) to do another urine test and confirm that I am indeed pregnant.

It has taken me about a week and a half to overcome the disbelief that I could actually get what I want in a hope so huge. I couldn't mention the new baby to God until today, I was afraid it wasn't for real. But I knew it was. The tiredness is overwhelming. The nausea, though not bad, is miserable. But my body never doubted it there was a little person growing in there!

Lost Boy and I estimate that I'm six weeks along (I have been tracking several symptoms with OvuView for several months now, so we can see at a glance when the stars - or fertility variables - aligned). So, we estimate that I'm due in March.

According to Baby Center's Due Date Calculator (using the conception date instead of the first day of the last period) I figure my due date is March 10, 2013. Baby Center says I'm 8 weeks along and that the baby is the size of a kidney bean. That is bigger than I thought!