Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Things that surprised me about being apart

We are two weeks into Darren's internship. So far it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. At least for me. I think that it has been harder on Darren being away from us.

I've been surprised at how much more I can do now that I can't depend on Darren. It makes me feel like I'm really lazy when he's around! Darren says that he misses taking care of me, which makes me feel better about myself (and kind of special). But I think it's good for me to have to depend on myself for a little while. Maybe I'll be a stronger partner when we're together again.

Speaking of stronger! It's been seven months since surgery and this past week I hit a new level of healing. I can jog again! (When necessary...) And I can bend over again! You don't realize how often you bend over until you can't do it. Pretty much everything below my waist has been effectively out of reach for the past year because the energy expenditure for bending over was huge. I bent over all the time, of course, because: kids, life, gravity, etc. It is so nice to be able to bend down (and stand back up) without a ton of effort. And I'm thrilled to be able to do a (highly modified) sun salute again. ♥

Another thing I've been surprised by is how hard weekends are. I thought the school days would be hard (I don't do getting up and getting out the door very reliably), and the weekends would be easy. But by 4pm on Saturday, I was out of my mind and the kids couldn't settle down and be obedient. Next weekend I'm going to try to have a little more structure... though I'm not sure how, because I'm really bad at routines and schedules. And I have to remember to give the kids one on one time more often. I think that will help.

One last thing that has surprised me so far, is that this summer apart is already turning out to not be anything like single parenting, or coping with a deployment. Yes, I'm physically without a partner. But I get so much support from him, constantly, that I'm not weighed down by his physical absence as much as I thought I would be. (Don't worry, My Love, I still miss you and can't wait to snuggle!) We are able to leave messages for each other throughout the day, and call frequently, Between text messages, Voxer, Marco Polo, Google Hangouts, and regular calls we probably communicate daily just as much as we did when he was only a few miles away at school or work. Also, he's not on the other side of the world, or the country. We get to visit him every other week or so.

There are still really hard moments. I yelled too much this weekend. And there are hours moments when I just can't pull it together. But there are angels all around us. They come and hold my baby, or have my kids over to play. So, this adventure is turning out to be a good experience so far.

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